Check-up #1

I was walking along in National Bookstore when I saw a friend. Being the amiable dolt that I am, I of course greeted her with a “How do you do?” Being the Filipina that she is, my friend promptly replied with an “I’m fine. How do YOU do?” To which I answered, “I’m good.”

Still following me? Thanks.

Then, she looked at me with a look that pretty much was incredulity made into facial expression, and said, “Wait, aren’t you a med student already?”

Before I could respond, she immediately got carried away by a flood of people towards the exit – which I guess was a good thing.

I mean, I was left pretty much speechless. I couldn’t answer her question if I tried.

Because, really, medical school feels, well, weird.

I know I’m not doing anything medical yet, and, quite frankly, I’m not even studying anything medical yet. But everything feels like it is tinged with the aura of medicine (if there’s such a term). Everything feels like I should be better than what I am, and everything I do seems so far from even the slightest notion of ‘enough.’

I don’t know if this state will change anytime soon, but if it does, I’ll tell you.

Current status: Stable but confused.

Pressure: Moderate but increasing.

BMI (Bad Mood Index): 5 out of 10.

Outlook: Positive (?).

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